


Not His Place

by Dairypie



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Feelings Realization, KillerVibe - Freeform, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 05:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11247393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dairypie/pseuds/Dairypie
Summary: KillerVibe Week Day 1 - Most Iconic Moment/Quote"I'd rather it be me than her"A short ficlet, based on the quote. Set before 3x23, kind of redeeming Julian.





	Not His Place

**Author's Note:**

> This was the hardest day of the week for me to write for. I couldn't pick a moment since I have been re watching the show from the beginning. Then I ordered a custom necklace with the quote, and it kind of hit me. That quote has impacted how I write and think about Cisco as I write. It's changed a lot for me, so I decided write some of those emotions.
> 
> I also felt like Julian's arch in the story was missing something, and I was crazy mad at him still, so I wrote this to release those feelings and allow me to not be so mad at him.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Julian had no idea why he never saw it before this moment, when it was so clearly in front of him. The empirical evidence, he had just been blind to it all. He had just been lost in his own feelings of grieving for Caitlin, he never saw it. He wasn’t the only one in love with her. Julian wasn’t even sure if he could say that anymore. It was a very conflicting mess of emotions, and he was just trying to focus on this project.

He couldn’t though. Once you realize someone else is in love with who you thought was your girlfriend you can’t help but go over every single moment in your mind. It was right there on the surface the whole time. The animosity between them and how they would only work together for Caitlin’s sake. It was so clear now. And Cisco didn’t even have to say it to make it known how he felt.

_‘I’d rather it be me than her’_

That was all he needed to say, no confessions of love or anything. But Julian was sure if he pushed harder when he confronted him that those would have been the words next to come from him. But actions speak louder than words. And Cisco’s spoke volumes. 

Julian sighed looking through the number again. It made his heart hurt to realize it. That the whole time he went out with Caitlin, no matter how brief it had been, there was always going to be Cisco. And that was why he never could get along with the other man. Even now that they were both working together to bring her home.

But Julian realized in that single moment of Cisco finally explaining more of why he couldn’t fight her, about his fears. They weren’t trying to bring her home to be with Julian again. They were trying to bring her back to Cisco.

And that hurt more than thinking she was dead. The times they faced her, it was written all over both of their faces. They were those annoying people in love, who never wanted to cross the line and risk the friendship. They probably would be forever.

Julian had tried to tell Cait-Killer Frost how he felt, in hopes she would maybe turn back but nothing happened. Not like whenever Cisco gets to talking to her, for briefest flickers, she is Caitlin again. Cisco never says he loves her.

_‘I think about all the memories I cherish most and you’re in every single one of them, Caitlin.’_

But he shows it every day. Cisco wears the emotion on his sleeves, with how recklessly chases after her. How it’s tearing him apart. And Julian only just saw it now, as he sat working alone on the cure. He thought for a while that he was making this cure for her. He wasn’t. He was making it for himself, to maybe things could go back to the way they were before.

That won’t probably happen. If she comes back, it won’t be for Julian, because that’s not how this works. And everyone on Team Flash knows it; despite the fact the two never say it or act on it. They are each other’s hearts and no one else can get between them. It’s silly to think anyone could, and it’s even sillier to think about how hard they try to see other people to separate themselves from each other.  But they still come back together.

 And that’s why he’ll give the cure to Cisco he decides. Because Cisco knows what’s best for Caitlin, and he’s the person most likely to get her to agree. Even if Cisco is angry at her for being evil, they all know, he’d let her back in before anyone else.

It’s not Julian’s place anymore to decide her future. And that breaks his heart.


End file.
